Coming Out
by AlaskaExists
Summary: Takes place after City of Glass. Alec has just "officially" come out to his parents and finds himself at Magnus's apartment. Malec One-shot


Alec stood outside the door to Magnus's apartment building, the key grasped tightly in his clenched fist. He took a deep breath, trying to clear his head as the cold air burned his lungs. He had just gotten done coming out to his parents, not that it wasn't clear when he had kissed Magnus in Idris, but now that they were back at the institute he had the "official" talk with them. It hadn't really gone well.

His mom seemed to be more accepting of him being gay, but wasn't happy with him dating a Downworlder, let alone the High Warlock of Brooklyn. However, his father was even less open-minded. He hadn't said a word when Alec had been explaining and had remained stoic when his mother started crying. Eventually, after his mother had calmed down, his father asked to speak with him alone. It took all his strength to keep his calm during that conversation.

And it was exhausting just holding himself together now.

He didn't even mean to come here. He meant to just take a walk, get out of the Institute for awhile, since he couldn't sit still. Somehow, after hours of aimless wandering, he had ended up here. His body was stiff with cold and it wasn't until he tried to fit the key in the lock, that he realized how hard his hands were shaking. He shoved the door open and walked up to Magnus's apartment, stepping inside without bothering to knock, as he had been doing since Magnus gave him a key to the building.

Magnus was sprawled out on a plush leather couch, wearing bright, blue pajamas. His hair was spiked up in messy spikes, like he had showered and just ran his hands through his hair when it was damp. Chairman Meow was laying across his chest, and Magnus was stroking him, absentmindedly in the dim lights of the room. Magnus sat up abruptly when he noticed Alec in the doorway, knocking Chairman Meow to the floor, who bolted toward the bedroom with a hiss.

"Alec, I wasn't expecting you tonight, but I'm glad you're here," Magnus stated cheerfully, a smile lighting his face.

Alec didn't move from the doorway, feeling suddenly overwhelmed by his warlock boyfriend. How could Magnus care about him? Magnus was kinetic, he drew people to him and he commanded every eye in the room with his personality as much as his bright (and, Alec thought, somewhat wacky) fashion choices. Alec couldn't help but think he was meager in comparison. Just a plain Shadowhunter, he only owned dark, practical clothes, had no sense for fashion or color, and people definitely weren't drawn to him. In fact, he usually made sure they stayed away.

Alec could still hear his father's voice in his head, asking him why he'd disgrace his family by coming out, asking him what made him gay, telling him it was wrong. Magnus immediately noticed something was wrong and cleared the space separating them.

"Darling, what's happened?" Magnus asked, raising his hand to cup Alec's face, flushed from the cold. "You're freezing!"

Magnus wrapped his arm around Alec's slender, but strong, shoulders and gently led him over to the couch. Alec didn't resist, but still didn't say a word. His teeth were practically chattering from shivering and he was finally aware of how cold he actually was. Magnus sat him down on the couch and snapped his fingers, blue sparks emitted from his fingertips. Warm, blue-green flames burst fourth in the fireplace across from the couch and two mugs of hot chocolate appeared on the coffee table in front of him.

Alec stared into the flames, shivering, and tried to sort out his feelings. Part of him wanted to throw himself into Magnus's arms and revel in the feeling of acceptance and love that he had only ever felt in the warlock's presence. But, the other part of him, the part that always pushed people away, the part that felt he would never be enough, and even the small part of him that was ashamed, wanted to run from the apartment and never come back. Instead, Alec just sat, saying nothing as Magnus grabbed a colorful, knitted blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around Alec's shoulders, before sitting down next to him.

"Alexander, please, tell me what's wrong."

Alec stared into the flames and answered without looking at Magnus, "I came out to my parents, officially, I mean."

"Oh, Alec," Magnus whispered his voice laced with concern. "I'm guessing it didn't go quite as well as you'd hoped?"

Alec scoffed. "Well, you could say that. I don't know why I thought it'd go any better. I knew how Shadowhunter's feel, but still...I hoped-" Alec's voice cracked and he felt his shoulders slump as exhaustion caught up with him.

"Alec, darling, they'll come around. It'll all work out eventually. It just might take them some time to understand."

Magnus pulled Alec to him and gently lifted Alec's chin so that the boy had to look into his eyes. "I love you, Alexander Lightwood and nothing will ever change that."

Alec could see the sincerity and the seriousness in his cat eyes, and he felt his chest get tight as tears pricked the back of his eyes.

"I love you, too, Magnus Bane," Alec responded, leaning into the warlock's embrace, allowing himself to be pulled closer.

"Do you want talk about it?" Magnus whispered, his breath warm against Alec's ear.

Alec tensed, partly from how close Magnus was, but mostly because he didn't want to tell Magnus what had happened. He was ashamed of his family and he wasn't sure if he even _could_ talk about it. He was hurt more than he would ever show. He wrapped his arms around Magnus, and buried his face in shoulder, knowing Magnus would be able to read the hurt in his eyes.

"No," Alec replied, his voice muffled against Magnus's shirt.

Magnus began softly running his hand soothingly up and down Alec's back. "You can talk to me about anything. You don't have to handle all this alone, Alec."

Alec felt his throat constrict and realized he wasn't going to be able to hold back the tears that had been threatening him since he stepped into his parent's study earlier. He closed his eyes tight, but a few tears escaped, sliding down his cheeks and onto Magnus's shoulder.

"Alec," Magnus sighed, and pulled the boy closer to him. Alec curled up, practically on Magnus's lap as Magnus lifted him so that Alec's long legs were arched over his. Alec felt his body shaking as he desperately tried to regain control. Magnus only tightened his hold on the boy and Alec's breath caught on a sob.

"Just let go, Alec," Magnus whispered, and Alec felt any remaining control he had crumble. Sobs racked his body as he wrapped his arms around Magnus, letting the tears fall as he buried his face against the warlock's neck.

Magnus just held Alec close, running his hand down his back rhythmically while rambling whatever soothing things came to mind. Alec couldn't make out most of the things Magnus was saying, he couldn't really concentrate on anything outside of the thoughts and moments swirling around in his head, but he appreciated the calm, even tones of Magnus's voice.

Eventually, Alec's tears began to subside and he took a few shaky breaths in an attempt to stop his body from trembling. "I'm sorry," Alec murmured, suddenly feeling embarrassed and humiliated. He was a Shadowhunter, he wasn't supposed to breakdown, especially not in front of anyone.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," Magnus replied, loosening his grip on the boy, but not removing his arms from around him.

Alec laughed meekly, keeping his face hidden against Magnus's neck, trying to hide his embarrassment. Magnus gently turned Alec's face towards his and softly kissed either side of his tear-stained cheeks, before pulling back and looking into Alec's bright blue eyes, which were vibrant and beautiful, even full of sorrow and ringed with exhaustion. Alec slowly leaned in, closing the small amount of space that separated their lips and kissed Magnus languorously, feeling some of the tension and stress leave his body as he lost himself in the kiss.

Slowly, they sank back on the couch, so that Alec was bracing himself on top of Magnus, while their legs naturally intertwined. Magnus broke the kiss first.

"You're exhausted, Alexander. You need to rest."

"I can rest later," Alec replied, leaning in to kiss Magnus again.

Magnus turned his head away, taking the sting out of his refusal by pulling Alec down next to him, so that Alec's head rested on his chest. "I can tell you haven't been sleeping enough," Magnus stated, running his fingers through Alec's dark hair.

"Humph," Alec mumbled, refusing to acknowledge Magnus's statement as he settled against the warlock's body. Magnus smiled, this was more like Alec.

Magnus pulled the blanket out from where it was trapped under them and covered them both, while continuing to stroke Alec's hair as they laid in silence, with the only sound coming from the blue-green flames in the hearth.

"Magnus...?" Alec whispered, so quietly Magnus almost didn't hear him. In fact, he had thought the boy had fallen asleep.

"Yes, love?"

"I don't care what anyone says about me or what they think about me being gay. I can handle them, and I'm 18 now, so no one can tell me what I can and can't do. It doesn't change how I feel about you and it doesn't make me want to be with you any less. I don't regret my decision to come out. I actually wish I would have done it sooner."

Magnus's hand had frozen in Alec's hair and his catlike eyes had gone wide with shock, as Alec tilted his face up, so Magnus was staring into sincere, blue eyes. Alec wasn't usually so forthcoming and had taken the warlock by surprise, but almost instantly he recovered, joy lighting his face.

"I wish you didn't have to deal with people not accepting you, but I'm glad that you're happy with your decision, and I'm extremely glad that you're here, with me, now. I love you, Alec, more than I ever thought I would."

A shy smile lit Alec's face, as Magnus leaned forward, pressing his lips gently to Alec's forehead.

"Sleep now," Magnus commanded gently, cupping the boy's face and running his thumb over the dark blotches of exhaustion that had formed under Alec's blue eyes.

Alec sighed, leaning into Magnus's touch, closing his eyes. Eventually, Alec's breathing slowed and his body relaxed. Magnus remained awake, he couldn't stop thinking about the hurt in Alec's eyes when he had come into the apartment. He desperately wished there was something he could do to make everything better for him. He wished that he could just snap his fingers or chant some spell to make his pain disappear...but it wasn't that easy. Alec was already dealing with the death of his youngest brother, Max, and now he had to face his family and the Clave's opinions on whom he loved. It just wasn't fair.

Alec mumbled something incoherent in his sleep and stirred against Magnus, who shifted slightly on the couch, to give Alec more room, which was difficult since the couch wasn't exactly wide. Magnus gently untangled himself from Alec and slid off the couch, before lifting Alec in his arms to carry him to the bedroom.

"What...?" Alec mumbled, his eyes fluttering open as Magnus cradled him and walked towards the bedroom.

"You'll be more comfortable in the bed," Magnus whispered, carrying Alec as if he weighed nothing.

"I can walk you know," Alec muttered, but his eyes fell closed as Magnus placed him in the big, double bed, pulling the covers back and over Alec. Alec was so exhausted that he was asleep as soon as Magnus laid him down. Magnus slid into bed next to him, curling up against the Shadowhunter, who naturally turned into the warlock's embrace. Magnus felt a smile pull at his lips as he closed his eyes, finally feeling relaxed enough to sleep. They could get through anything, as long as they were together. And no one was going to keep them apart.


End file.
